Responses to some of your (spam) comments

letter-to-editor

One of the great joys of writing this blog is receiving and reading your comments; whether they enlighten, entertain or cause me to snort in a derisory fashion.  However, it’s come to my attention that an awful lot of comments often pass me by because they get automatically stored in a folder marked ‘spam’. Upon inspection, this folder was packed full of correspondence from people that apparently really like my blog, despite occasionally having difficulty articulating their joy at reading it.

And so, in celebration of these keen fans who, by no fault of their own, have had their praise syphoned away from public gaze, here are some responses to a small cross-section of this wonderful, touching feedback.

“I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Outstanding work!”   タグホイヤー レディース腕時計

Oh stop it, I’m blushing. I’ll let you in on a little secret – the layout is all done automatically by WordPress. I didn’t need to hire a designer at all! Unlike your blog… The way you’ve presented all those genuine brand-name watches in such a faux garish way is obviously the work of a crazy graphic designer – and one with a great sense of humour! Keep up the good work!

“I love reading a post that will make men and women 
think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!”   geld anlegen zinsen vergleich

Thanks Geld. It’s always my hope that my articles will stimulate thought and contemplation, and I’m glad that my entry ‘Racist Thundercats’ provoked such feelings in you. Incidentally, did you know that in English your name translates as ‘Make Money Comparative Interest’? How mad is that?! In England we have boring names like ‘John Smith’, but you Germans are obviously a lot wilder than our stereotypes suggest! And you don’t have to thank me for permitting you to comment: free speech is a right I feel passionate about. And one of the many reasons it was so vital we defeated your ancestors 70 years ago.

“If the consumer debt relief you can benefit from using a lending network that has thousands of dealers and lenders and they may not be easy. The down payment for your bad or no credit. Those down towards the bottom are going to be sky high?
 To find the most affordable consumer debt relief rates
among the different banks. You won’t have to accept the financing they offer you.” Jacelyn

Dear Jacelyn: I’m glad that my missive about the way videogames are presented in television drama touched you to the extent that you felt you had to reply. However, I rather fear you missed the point of the article. What I was trying to do, through a mixture of observation and humour, was point out how inaccurately computer games are portrayed on the small screen. You appear to have read into it a little more than I intended – something to do with finance? But look, the great thing about art is that people can interpret it in different ways, so I’m glad it struck a nerve, however unintentionally.

“Wow! It a nice jQuery script; I was also seeking for that, so i got it right now from at this time. Keep it up admin of this site”    zi xiu tang

Wow! Thank you my incomprehensible little friend! I have no fucking idea what you just wrote, but it’s clearly positive, so accept my heartfelt gratitude.

“Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared across the web. Shame on the seek engines for now not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my website . Thank you =)”   Fake Oakleys

Thanks Fake. I honestly thought my article about ‘internal farts’ was one of my more shallow entries, but I’m glad you feel the information there was worth sharing. And you’re right – Google should prioritise it! I will indeed visit your website at the earliest opportunity, but I’ve got a backlog of similar requests to get through, and my Chinese is a little rusty…

“Hello, I check your new stuff on a regular basis. Your humoristic style is awesome, keep up the good work“   Replica Oakleys

Wow, this is just getting embarrassing now. BTW, do you have a brother called Fake? He reads my blog too! (see above)

“Very soon this website will be famous among all blog people, due to it’s pleasant posts“ skuteczny srodek na odchudzanie

Gosh! Well I don’t know about “famous”, Skuteczny, but I suppose I am gathering a bit of a following – especially among you Eastern Europeans with the crazy names. You’ll never believe this – I can’t quite myself – but in English your name translates as ‘Effective Remedy For Weight Loss’. And I’m not even making that up!! Thanks for reading.

“I rarely create comments, however i did some searching and wound up here Reverse sexism | middle class
fury. And I do have a few questions for you if
you don’t mind. Could it be simply me or does it look as if like a few of these responses appear like they are left by brain dead folks?  🙂  And, if you are writing on other social sites, I’d like to keep up with everything fresh
you have to post. Could you make a list of every
one of all your communal sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page
or twitter feed?   diety odchudzajace

Ha ha… Well Diety, far be it for me to comment on the cognitive capacity of some of my readers, but you’re not wrong! I’ve got a lot of Chinese web sites to go through right now, but I would be happy to send you all my social network details as soon as I get a spare second. Oh, and I loooove your use of emoticons. Stay classy 😉

“your blog needs improvement. http://www.kitsucesso.com.br”   lista de emails

Fuck off, Lista.

“What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how regarding unpredicted feelings.”   zi xiu tang bee polle capsules

Bloody hell, that’s deep. It’s beautiful; like poetry. I’m glad my entry concerning ‘Are you sure prompt boxes’ touched you so profoundly.

“Apple mackintosh thought up any tunable surprise install that could
sit between the wine glass and the body of the gadget”   4homme

Dude, no offense, but you write like a random word generator! Don’t worry, English is a really tricky language – it took me nearly 5 years to learn to speak fluently! Ha ha.  No, but seriously… study harder.

OK, that’s it for now. I’m off to compose a strongly worded letter to WordPress about how they hide away so much of your wonderful correspondence. Then I’m going to buy a genuine Rolex wristwatch from a Malaysian website for only £50! (That, my friends, is a bargain)

6 comments

  1. Ugh, I get those kinds of comments all the time.

  2. Oh, Lista isn’t such a bad person/entity. He, she or it was one of my first commenters! He she or it will always hold a special, if anonymous, place in my heart. Also, I see no one offered to “bui” your boxers or “biefs.” You haven’t truly lived until someone offers you cold hard cash for your unmentionables.

  3. I’ve been pretty annoyed about spam lately, so this post is very timely… That being said, this post is hysterical. Definitely gives me a new a new perspective of those encouraging little commenters that get stowed away in my spam filter…

  4. Ahhhh’m dyin’ here. incomprehensible little friend just rubbed me the right way…is that an appropriate phrase or used…ever?

  5. You maka funny post. Now how about those oakley?

  6. carrico

    Jesus, and I thought I had a bad mouth.

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