People with backpacks and no spacial awareness

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A common factor in many of these entries is the sad, infuriating truth that some people appear to have no sense of how their occupation of a particular space may affect or otherwise inconvenience others. Or perhaps they just don’t care. I’m hoping it’s the latter, because then I can feel less guilty about wanting them dead.

The urban backpacker is a prime example of this. You know the type: they’re usually foreign (not that I have anything against foreigners) and they’re usually students (not that I have anything against higher education), and they have decided to carry all their earthly possessions on their back and then enter a highly populated area during rush hour (I’m mainly against this part of the scenario).

The backpack, dear Gunther, has made you bigger.  It has increased the physical space you occupy, almost doubling your depth. You’d think that the incredible weight of the apparatus crushing your spinal column would serve as a constant reminder of this fact, and yet you appear to be oblivious. How else can I explain the way your backpack gets trapped in the closing doors on the tube, delaying it at peak times? Or the way you knock people off their feet as you turn around on the packed platform? Or your complete refusal to remove your backpack whilst sharing a train with a bunch of commuters who would much rather the space were reserved for their faces?

The only explanation is that you just don’t care. Or that you’re secretly a New York cop who was given strict instructions to act this way by Jeremy Irons lest a bomb go off in a populated area. Basically, you’re either in ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’ or a cock – it’s that simple.

3 comments

  1. Graeme

    And as for you Pierre.

    With your backpack on your front.

    Why?

    It’s called a backpack for a reason.

    If you don’t want your purse stolen from the zipped up pocket in your overstuffed bag then don’t put it in there. You wouldn’t wear it like that in your own town so why are you doing it in London? And anyway, do you really need all that stuff with you for a day out looking at Buckingham Palace?

    Stop it.

  2. I would be intrigued to hear your extended musings on this subject in relation to wheelie bags that trail an additional 2-3 feet behind people, especially on the tube. Not so much the luggage, you’re going on holiday and you’re entitled to your 20kg allowance and god forbid you would consider carrying that yourself, unless it was in a back pack of course. I’m talking about your fucking oversized briefcase that has suddenly grown a pair of wheels and an extendable plastic handle which now means you are incapable of carrying said suitcase any distance at all. With the exception of when you come across a set of stairs, when you must come to an abrupt halt, despite the masses behind you, retract handle, bend, pick up suitcase, ascend/descend the stairs, stop again, bend, extend handle and continue trailing your pissy little bag behind you as the rest of the world tries not to trip over it.

  3. Karen

    Have you been secretly following me on the train? On the platform? In fact, yesterday I was nearly rendered unconscious by a “Gunther” heading to Kent. Can we start a Guardian Angels style group (I did the groovy berets) to combat this??

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